I skipped Weight Watchers today.
I set a goal, maybe too lofty of a goal, three weeks ago and knew I wouldn't even be close today.
I just couldn't face it. So I stayed home feeling guilty and trying to recommit...
but more or less just feeling like a failure
and thinking of all the things I shouldn't let myself do as punishment.
10:15 - my phone rang. I should have been half way through my meeting. I contemplated not answering it because of that fact... but alas I did not want to add dishonesty to my list of evils... so I answered.
Lisa: How'd you do? (We often talk after my meeting to offer support)
Karen: Ummm, I didn't go... I just couldn't face it.
So I spun my tale of submission to chocolate and a Hi-Hat cupcake and the carnage that followed. She listened, commiserated and then gently spoke the truth:
Would you walk up to someone and say, "I can't believe you ate that (or did that) you big jerk!? Now you are gong to be as bad or worse than you were before!"
Of course not! That's ridiculous and it's not true!
So why do you say this to yourself?
(How did she know?)
OK, you messed up a little, now what? You can make the choice. You have the power and ability. You can choose not to eat that cupcake (or fill in the blank) next time or choose to eat it (within reasonable guidelines), enjoy it and not feel guilty. One poor choice does not ruin everything you have done or seal your fate for the future. Learn from it and move on.
I cried.
She was (and still is) right.
Even though I haven't lived within 500 miles of my sisters for nearly 25 years we are still connected and today Lisa provided the tender mercy I needed.
Thanks, I love you.
I set a goal, maybe too lofty of a goal, three weeks ago and knew I wouldn't even be close today.
I just couldn't face it. So I stayed home feeling guilty and trying to recommit...
but more or less just feeling like a failure
and thinking of all the things I shouldn't let myself do as punishment.
10:15 - my phone rang. I should have been half way through my meeting. I contemplated not answering it because of that fact... but alas I did not want to add dishonesty to my list of evils... so I answered.
Lisa: How'd you do? (We often talk after my meeting to offer support)
Karen: Ummm, I didn't go... I just couldn't face it.
So I spun my tale of submission to chocolate and a Hi-Hat cupcake and the carnage that followed. She listened, commiserated and then gently spoke the truth:
Would you walk up to someone and say, "I can't believe you ate that (or did that) you big jerk!? Now you are gong to be as bad or worse than you were before!"
Of course not! That's ridiculous and it's not true!
So why do you say this to yourself?
(How did she know?)
OK, you messed up a little, now what? You can make the choice. You have the power and ability. You can choose not to eat that cupcake (or fill in the blank) next time or choose to eat it (within reasonable guidelines), enjoy it and not feel guilty. One poor choice does not ruin everything you have done or seal your fate for the future. Learn from it and move on.
I cried.
She was (and still is) right.
Even though I haven't lived within 500 miles of my sisters for nearly 25 years we are still connected and today Lisa provided the tender mercy I needed.
Thanks, I love you.
5 comments:
Awwww! I love you too! Again. You made me cry.
In truth...I love you no matter what size...and you are STILL smaller than I am!
Tomorrow...pictures of the party!
It's not about comparisons or size... You are awesomely amazing and you inspire me.
Karen, I think you're amazing, and you should never feel like a failure unless you will use that to be a better person. Worrying over a cupcake is not going to make you a better person. You have always been one of the finest women I have ever known, and THAT's the important part! Hugs!
It was not a global thing just a bad day. I find that I sink into that mindset once in a while and need a reality check. Thanks for the hugs and your kind words. I'm not fishing for compliments - just thought others may be able to relate and my sisters wisdom could help them too.
PS Unfortunately it was not just ONE cupcake, that I can deal with ;)
i LOVE that story. You have an awesome sister. Thanks for sharing!
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