Thursday, January 26, 2012

Late, late, late!

How could I be late  What else is new.

Happy (late) Birthday to Aaron. My first born. The child who experienced the full on ineptitude of my motherhood and lived to tell the tale. Not only survived but somehow thrived anyway. The nurse at the hospital had to remind me to burp him after I fed him. When we got home from the hospital I was almost soaked by a little fountain when I changed his diaper the first time. How did I not know little boys did that? That event dissolved me to tears. The reality hit me that despite my years as an older sister and babysitting so many children, I had never been a mother before. Never  been THE ONE responsible for the life of another. If a child had a problem in the past, all I had to do what hold on till the mom got home and she would know what to do. Now I was THE MOM and I didn't know what to do. It was that moment I realized I could not do this alone. I just didn't know how to be a mom. But I did know how to love - and part of my fear was there because of the overwhelming love I had for this new little boy that was my son. The thought of making mistakes and ruining him petrified me. I'm so glad I had a wonderful husband  - who also was new at this - and a loving Heavenly Father to support, guide and encourage me every step of the way. 

It seems to have worked.  

Because he is now eight years older than I was when he was born. Married to a wonderful woman with a delightful little girl and one more coming in March. He is bright, talented, devoted, funny, spiritual and a great dad and snowman maker. I couldn't be more proud. While I realize that I did play a part in his upbringing, when I look at the person he is today, I realize that only a small part of that was because of me.

Happy Birthday Aaron!





6 comments:

Celisa said...

Don't worry, I was late too! You describe the feelings of first-time motherhood so well. For the record though, you are an awesome mother. I agree that Aaron turned out wonderfully , and I think that you had a big part in it. :)

MZ said...

Well said. I will add that Aaron has been richly blessed by a wonderful mother. You're awesome with kids, not because you were given the training beforehand, but because you know how to turn to Heavenly Father and listen to His Spirit as it guided you through the challenges of being a mother. As a result, I'm super blessed by Aaron and his wonderful family. Thanks to both of you!!

momJulee said...

When they brought my oldest into me at the hospital, I looked at her sleeping peacefully and burst out crying. What was I even doing? I had no idea. Somehow, they turn out OK anyway.

Mellie said...

Good read! I have the same fears whenever my first child comes.

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