Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Held Hostage

Have you ever come to the realization that you are holding people hostage to their past? Allowing actions or words spoken long ago (or not that long ago) to dictate choices you make and the way you treat others in this moment? It seems that when I am feeling pretty heroic and righteous I am often faced (sometimes hit in the face) with the reality of my hypocrisy.

Have words ever slipped out of your mouth that you don't really mean? Blame it on the heat of the moment, stress or exhaustion.... open mouth, insert foot, bite down hard. I know I have longed for time to roll back so I could do it over, say it over or not say it at all. I want the other person to forgive me and move on as if it never happened. Why then, can I not extend that same courtesy as easily to others.

For me, I want each day to be a new day, a new beginning. I want to be at least a little better today than I was yesterday: to start fresh and learn new things, to not make the same or as many mistakes as I did yesterday. I would guess that most people want that. I hope that others notice my progress and would forgive me of past blunders and treat me as the new person I'm trying to become. Why, if this is my desire, do I struggle to extend the same consideration to others?

Today is a new day, time for a fresh start, no more hostages.

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