Friday, October 17, 2008

Flashback Friday: There's nothing to fear...

When I was little I remember laying in my bed as flat as I could so that if someone shot an arrow through the window they wouldn't hit me...and no matter how hot it was I ALWAYS covered myself with my sheet, the more protection the better... seems pretty silly now but for years (maybe it just seemed like years) this is how I went to sleep. (I still like a sheet covering me but it has nothing to do with arrows).

WARNING - I realize there are not many people who read this but if you are one of the few and are sick of posts about losing weight, feel free to close this now. This post is more for me than you.

It's funny how I still have strange (OK - maybe irrational) fears. It was also somewhat unexpected how emotionally charged the whole weight loss thing is for me. It's really more than just exercising and eating right. Maybe if I just put them out there I can see that I really have nothing to fear.
1. I can't buy new clothes until I reach my ideal weight - what if I somehow become satisfied with the way I look and stop loosing?
2. What if I get stuck and never can reach my goal?
3. What if I'm never satisfied with the way I look?
4. If I'm not obsessive I won't loose weight.
5. What if I have to eat so little food to reach my goal that I can't maintain it?
6. Can I really be happy not eating whatever I want whenever I want?

Ok, I feel better already. Even as I typed some of these issues that have been floating in the back of my head it seems silly that I would even worry about them. This whole process has been fascinating to understand my self better, physically and emotionally. I'm learning a lot about the way my own body works.

OK, one more breakthrough for me. I am posting a picture of myself, by myself on my blog. Reward or punishment... you have to figure that one out. Nice hair cut though, thanks Jamie...

I can't tell you how tempting it is to delete this whole thing but I accidentally posted it before I was finished so I guess I'll leave it.


Kami Su said...

I loved reading this Karen, thanks for sharing. I think you summed up how everyone "really" feels.

Jessica said...

I totally agree with the above comments. Being a woman is hard and loosing weight is hard for us! It sucks, but I'm so proud of you. Keep on going!

Dave and Mandy said...

Beautiful and strong. That is how I think of you. Thanks for sharing your feelings - you always lend strength and your picture is beautiful! Way to conquer your fears - you're awesome!