Sunday, October 17, 2010

How do you do it?

A few months ago Kent Messenger was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. 

Kent and Jane Ann Messenger were living in our neighborhood when we moved here. 

Their youngest two sons have been in school with Aaron and Robbie.
We tried to take piano lessons from Jane Ann but her waiting list was too long.
Their youngest son, David, served his mission during the exact same time as Robbie. 

About two years ago Kent lost his job and they subsequently lost their home.
They were able to rent a house one street over, keeping them nearby.

Kent finally found a really great job and things were looking up when he was diagnosed.
He was able to work long enough to get insurance coverage.

After a round of radiation and chemo they waited for six weeks.
We got his email last week written by Jane Ann
(it went to the whole ward):

"We got the results back from Kent's CT scan yesterday.  It is not good.  The cancer has spread to his liver and spleen.  No wonder he is such a sick guy.  He never ceases to amaze me with his good attitude.  He is only worried about me.  The Hospice nurse thought it would be around 4 weeks.  I thought we would have longer than that, but we will take all the time we have.
Oh my we never know what is ahead of us.  Don't let one day go by without telling those you love that they are so special to you.  Forgive faster and judge slower.  That is my advice for you. Again, thank you for all your love and prayers.  We need them more now than ever before.

Thanks again for all your kind words and love.  
Your love and prayers have seen us through a lot these past few months.  
We love you."
We visited with Jane Ann tonight. 
We cried together and talked about the amazing life Kent has lived. 
We visited with Kent too. He was thin and pale, and not feeling very good but visited with us for a few minutes. He knew us and it was good to visit with him.
We left with hugs and tears.
Assurances that help and support is nearby,
I know our offer was among many.
But how do you do it?
How do you watch your beloved spouse leave this life?
Jane Ann will be 60 soon.
As she said, that's too young to be a widow...

I think the only thing that makes it doable/bearable 
is knowing that God has a plan for all of His children 
and that this separation is only temporary...
Tonight I am so very thankful for that.


MZ said...

Me too. I can't imagine not having that assurance that this life is temporary.

Amy said...

Good post and a good reminder.